Happy Mother's Day...Let the guilt begin

     I was wrestling with ideas of what to write about this month. While I was away visiting with family this weekend I found my answer. Since May finds us celebrating Mother's Day I think it’s a good time to write this. I was recently talking with someone very dear to me and she was expressing her heart felt emotions 

about her miscarriage. What does that have to do with cancer you ask? Nothing. However; I was acutely aware that we shared many of the same emotions. 

     I think as women we take too much responsibility for things we can’t control. Anyone who is a mother knows what "mother guilt" is. You question every decision you make regarding your child. When they are 

hurting you wonder what you can do to make it better. So, back to our conversation; she was feeling       guilty for losing the baby. Feelings of letting family down and all kinds of emotions that your heart is          feeling and its outweighing the logical side of your thinking. 

     I remember doing the same thing when I was sick. I had taken care of myself, I was in good shape     and I certainly didn’t choose cancer and leukemia. I felt like my body and blood were betraying me and I  felt GUILTY!  I saw the pain it was putting my family through and that was excruciatingly hard. As a        mother, I felt so guilty at the thought that my boys might lose their mother. I saw the anguish in my           husband's eyes no matter how positive he tried to be.

     With Mother's Day coming I just take a minute to pause and think of all the moms going through        whatever struggle they might have. I realize having a miscarriage is not the same as cancer, that’s           obvious. However; I realize how important it is to have a support group that understands some of the          emotions that you go through. Even if you can’t personally relate to it, sometimes you just need to know  someone “hears” you. I personally have never had a miscarriage but I totally understand the emotional.  baggage that goes along with it.  

     While I was visiting with my family and we were walking through a park I had to keep stopping to rest. That is my baggage that I need to get rid of. I felt like I was holding everyone up and making them worry. I know it will get better, I know this “logically” but my heart is slow on dealing with this healing process.

        So, to all you moms out there; cut yourself some slack. Your family loves YOU, not your hair or job  or anything else, just YOU. Embrace that, be kind to other women you know. Whether your mom has      passed or not, honor her by living your best life.

Til next time, be well and be happy.

Sally