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The elephant in the room

More often than not I'm pretty much an open book.
I'm not shy about talking to people. However; I've recently realized how I've been trying to stifle a lot of guilt I have. I know so many people can understand how I feel. It's like  the elephant in the room you're trying to ignore.    Ten years ago my life was train wrecked. Everything I was  and the life I had were totally derailed. Getting cancer and  leukemia back to back didn't allow me much time to process everything.     I'm now in the "maintenance" stages. I can accept that I won't ever be the same. I won't have my usual life back. That's a harder pill to swallow than all the ones I take  each day.     The guilt kicks in when I watch my husband juggling  his schedule so I can make my doctor appointments. I  can no longer work, I am chronically fatigued. My lungs  are working at 50%. I won't to scream "How did I get here?"  I used to take my boys to all their …

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