Stop to smell the flowers...

 Well, it seems spring has finally arrived! The birds are out and the flowers are in full bloom. I am taking every opportunity to enjoy it and I hope you are all doing the same. I find that this past week especially has been one of great reflection. A year ago I celebrated my oldest son's wedding, I became a great aunt again, and I lost my mother all in 1 week. Quite a roller coaster ride of emotions to say the least.

  

   Life goes on and we adjust as we sail through it. I weighed 105 lbs this time last year and was still a little "fragile" from all the treatments I had gone through. I was bound and determined to be at that wedding and by the grace of God I did it. So here I am a year later and doing much better. I have gained weight and I am going to physical therapy to rebuild my muscles. It's difficult to imagine feeling better when you are in the throws of chemo, radiation and all the other circus of things you go through. I have said it before and I think its worth repeating....set small goals for yourself and as you achieve them set new ones. When your life is turned so upside down you have to find out ways to give yourself some sense of control. For me the lists were like little milestones so I didn't feel so overwhelmed by this stupid disease.

 

   The circle of life goes on whether we are prepared for it or not. You can't obsess over it and worrying doesn't solve anything either. I still battle insomnia but my brain seems to like to wake me up at 1 a.m. most nights. I have learned to use the time to "contemplate" instead of worry. That way if something is bothering me I just face it head on and realize the worst case scenario usually never happens. I don't dwell on the what if's and I am just trying to focus on living in the moment. I always tell my boys that when they look back on life they will see how it seems to fall into place. Maybe not the way they planned it but in the end it works out how it was supposed to. Often times it works out better than we would have planned it. Losing a job might put you in a different direction that works out better in the long run. A break up might put you on the path to meet the right person. 

   I don't think cancer or leukemia  necessarily enhanced my life but it definitely changed my outlook on a lot of things. Maybe because I was going through life being "busy" that I needed to learn it was ok to slow down. The world wouldn't stop spinning no matter what I was doing. So, wherever you may be in your own life don't forget to slow down a bit and focus on why you are really here. I guarantee you it's not for your job or housework.....listen to your heart : you will be amazed at what it will tell you...

Til next time,

Be well and be happy

Sally